The Darker Side of Relationships
by Kairacahra1869
Summary: Relationships aren't perfect and I don't mean this in the way you're thinking. What I am talking about is what makes a relationship a relationship. It is what let's you know that your significant other IS the right one for you. I am talking about the nitty gritty and nasty stuff... from bad breath to clogged toilets and everything beyond and in between... Hades/Poseidon Human!Au
1. Morning Breath

Waking up sucks. Especially when it's by a persistent and jealous alarm clock that disproves of your wonderful relationship with your bed. Fortunately, alarms are fragile little buggers. Even more fortunate is that the wall is on your side this morning and aids in silencing the horrid alarm by being closer than you last remember. You don't care though. _Sleep,_ your brain tells you, _you pulled a several nighter. Sleep..._

"Hayden get the frick up." A voice, normally lovely and musical, snapped with malice.

Hayden groaned something unintelligible and blindly reached for the voice. Once he got a hold of it, he yanked it down and held him close, snuggling in the crook of its neck and shoulder and drifting off back to sleep. A sharp pain interrupted his journey back to dream land and he groaned and held his hallow (and now sore) stomach, fully awake and aware of the cruel reality.

"Damnit... Dee..." Hayden groaned. He opened his eyes, slowly and only slightly, just in case he could go back to sleep, and pouted at his boyfriend.

Said boyfriend lifted a thick eyebrow and, without even a hint of a warning, dragged Hayden out of bed and dropped him onto the cold, unforgivingly hard floor. Hayden panicked and grabbed Don's shirt and the two went down. Hayden groaned again and opened his eyes to see the alarm clock (_I thought I killed it..._) blink mockingly at him.

7:43...

Hayden jumped up and scrambled to get his clothes off and work clothes on.

"Goddamnit, Dee! Why didn't you-"

"I swear, if you finish that with "wake me up", I will shove your shoe up your arse!" Don cut him off, slowly getting off the floor and brushing the dust and Lord knows what else off his clothes.

Hayden paused and smiled charmingly. "I was going to end it with "set my second alarm clock?"

"That... was the worst save I have ever witnessed." Don shook his head, but let it go. "Breakfast is in the brown bag on the counter. Lunch is in your regular bag. Your homework is next to your shoulder bag."

Hayden could kiss his boyfriend, so he did. He kissed him passionately on his plump lips, then parted them to slip his tongue into the strawberry pancake flavoured mouth... and promptly pulled back when he felt and heard Don dry heave.

"Hayden! Gross! You have freaking morning death breath!" Don spit repeatedly and wiped his mouth.

"... You just killed my pride..." Hayden said, feeling his pride and dignity fly out the window.

"You just killed my stomach." Don replied, looking a little green.

"You didn't have to dry heave..."

"When was the last time you brushed your teeth?"

"You could've been nice about it..."

"I can taste the garlic knots you had _last week_!"

"A man has pride, Dee."

"And all that coffee you consumed yesterday. Oh God..."

"You can't just tear down a man like that."

"... Brush your teeth."

Hayden shrugs, fully clothed and already headed down the hallway, away from the bathroom. "Can't! I'm running late!"

Don followed him, fishing out a pack of gum and chucking it his retreating boyfriend. "Then chew some gum-"

"Will do!" He picked up the gum, grabbed his food and headed out the door.

"And, for the love of God, _don't speak to anyone_!" Don yelled, just as Hayden close the door. Don crossed his arms, before pulling out his phone.

_I mean it!_, he sent the text to Hayden.

A few moments later he got a reply. I have to talk to people though. It is my job.

_Then give them a free gas mask._

I work in a bakery... Where would I get that many gas masks?

_Hayden, your breath will send people to the hospital. So you have two options: Sew your mouth shut or find gas masks and give them to your customers. Don't argue with me._

... Fine. See you tonight.

_You better have cleaned your mouth by that time._

He didn't get a reply.

TBC...

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><p><strong>What is this? I don't know. Don't question it. Just accept it and move on.<strong>

**Is Frennie back? Only the gods know, cause I sure as hell don't.**

**Where were you? Dead. Then dealt with writers block. In several fandoms (so... many.. fandoms...). On several apps on my phone. Dead.**

**Who are Hayden/Don "Dee/Donny"? Hayden= Human!AU Hades, Don "Dee/Donny/DonDon"= Human!Au Poseidon.**

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	2. Choking

"I know you aren't going to eat that." Hayden said with disgust.

Don stood up, cookie in his hand. A cookie that had fallen to the floor and rolled, bounced, and flipped away from its master's hands. He shrugged. "Five second rule."

"That was way more than five seconds." Hayden crossed his arms.

Don shrugged again. "Thirty second rule."

Hayden scoffed and reached for the cookie, planning to throw it away. "More like a minute."

Don sidestepped Hayden and went to eat the poor little cookie. "Alright. One minute rule."

Hayden grabbed Don's hand and wrestled it away from his boyfriend's mouth. "You cannot keep changing the rule to suit your needs!"

Don growled and kicked at Hayden's shin. "Hell yeah I can, and I _will_!"

Hayden grabbed his boyfriend's flailing arm.

"It's the last pumpkin spice cookie I got-"

Don closed his hand around the cookie and elbowed Hayden.

"-from your bakery this morning!"

Hayden took the blow and used Don's imbalance to flip him around, effectively locking Don into a tight embrace using his own arms.

"I have been waiting for this moment! You shan't take it from me!" Don snapped, trying to wriggle out of his predicament.

Hayden finally got the, now destroyed, cookie out of Don's iron grip and took a moment to pride himself on his feat. That proved to be the wrong thing to do, for, in that same moment, Don aimed a mighty head butt to Hayden's forehead, freeing himself and dazing Hayden. As Hayden was trying to get rid of the stars that swarmed his vision and stop himself from choking on his boyfriend's hair, Don took the opportunity to grab his precious cookie and run out of the store, shoving people out of the way with a loud "_Move, bitch! Get out the way!_" The bystanders looked scared and confused. A few shook their heads with mutters of "_Boys will be boys._" before walking away. Others had their phones out, videotaping the whole exchange.

Once Hayden got his bearings, he ran after Don, not caring that people weren't minding their own business. There was no way he would let Don eat that disease ridden cookie and get sick, because he was _not_ taking off any more time from work to handle a sick (read: Satan incarnated) boyfriend.

"Don!" He yelled. "Don't be stupid!"

Don either didn't hear him or ignored him. He, instead shoved the cookie in his mouth with an air of triumph. However, one should not run and eat food at the same time, especially not in a crowded area.

Don had been running and had looked back to see how far away Hayden was. In the middle of an exhale, at that crucial moment when the flap, that prevents things from going into your lungs while you eat, opened, Don turned around and almost ran over an elderly couple. In surprise, he gasped and, in that moment, the cookie found its way into his airway. Immediately, Don's brain sent a message to his lungs and the muscles surrounding it to go into Code Red. The result: Don bent over, one hand on his chest and the other gripping his hip for support, and started choking. He saw stars and his vision faded in and out. All noise ceased, except for the pitiful gasps and coughs that escaped his lips, in an attempt to save his life. He could feel his heart pounding with an extra effort due to the rush of adrenaline and lungs burned as he felt little crumbs and saliva slide down the tube.

Had it not been for Hayden, Don would've gone into panic mode and hyperventilated, but Hayden was there and he immediately used the Heimlich maneouvre to save his boyfriend. After a few moments, Don was finally able to cough up the food and, in relief, he sucked in (relatively) clean air greedily. He continued to gasp and cough and tears ran down his face from the exertion he had been through. He was shaking and Hayden pulled him into a hug.

"_M-my... food_!" He gasped out. He still did not have enough air for full sentences and his voice faded on the word food.

Hayden rubbed his back comfortingly. "I know."

"_Glori... food_!" He moaned. In front of them, a passing janitor grimaced at the congealed food on the floor and mopped it up. Don made a sound of pure agony.

"... Your fault." Hayden deadpanned. Don made a noncommittal noise.

"I told you so." Hayden said, again, in monotone. Don glared at him. He still did not have enough air to attempt a debate.

"Let's go home." Don didn't even fight Hayden as they went to the car. Hayden made a mental note, as he watched random strangers watch him and Don, to never go back to that store again.

TBC...

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><p><strong>Another chapter, brought to you by le Frennie. I have yet to figure out grammar or how to end a scene. I feel it (lit. translation of the spanish "lo siento" which is commonly used as a mean of expressing feelings of guilt andor pity).**

**Replies to review(s):**

Reon23: I am glad you enjoyed the last chapter. :) Especially the gas masks. xD I wasn't sure why I put that in the story, but I'm glad I did, if it tickled your funny bone. :)

**Graditude:** Thank you to those who faved: _CracksLetLightIn and Reon23_. Thank you to those who followed: _CracksLetLightIn, MizCeeJay27_ and _Reon23_

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